O' level result will be releasing on friday. I was feeling unease. I've this feeling i won't be performing well. I'm scared. I'm so so so scared. What if i flunk my O's? It's not the end of the world but it will have a great impact to my life. I'm afraid for losing what i've. My dream. It will be hard for me to get over it if i didn't do well. I've put in alot of efforts in it and naturally, i'll hope that my efforts will be paid off.

I was feeling so blue that i decided to go out for a walk. While i was talking, i'm giving myself mental prepare. How to handle the situation. I came up with a few ways of dealing it using my own ways. I'm not proud to tell you that but i'm being truthful about it. I'll most likely ignoring the phone and shut myself from the world. I'll hide myself in the toilet and cry my heart out. After crying, i'll just sleep for days. I'll keep quiet for days and refuse to talk much about my O's. I'll pretend that everything will be alright and i'll get over soon when i won't. I'll head to the swimming complex for a good swim and sports hall for a long distance running.I'll buy tons of chocolate and stuff myself with it while touring singapore via bus.

I intended to do so if such situation happens. However, i gave a thought about it again and i realised it's quite impossible. Why? I've rehearsal on sat and sun. I don't think i'll be allowed to keep quiet when i'm suppose to say out my lines. I've lync on sat too which doesn't allow me to sleep/cry/swim/run/eat for the whole day.

subconsciously, i walked to the church. As i went to the nave and kneeled before God. For a week, i've abandoned Him. I ran away from His love. when i ran away, i was like a lost child in the midst of the crowd. I was so lost. Nothing seemed right. I seek for forgiveness and i was forgiven. I cried. in my heart. For i knew, i wasn't there by chance. I was chosen by Him to be there. He was always with me. When i ran away from Him, He ran to me. My loving God ran to me. A girl like me. I asked him do i deserve his love and he answered YES.

He led me back to path. I shall followed His words and live by Faith. No matter what result i get, i'll accept it. i'll continue worship him no matter what. Without His love, i'm nothing. With him, i'm everything. What else can i ask for?

When God Ran.
Almighty God, The Great I Am,
Immovable Rock, Omnipotent, Powerful,
Awesome Lord.
Victorious Warrior, Commanding King of Kings,
Mighty Conqueror and the only time,
The only time I ever saw him run,
Was when...

*He ran to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice
He said"Son, do you know I still love You?"
He caught me By surprise,
When God ran...

The day I left home,
I knew I'd broken His heart.
And I wondered then, if things could ever be the same.
Then one night,I remembered His love for me.
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see,
It was the only time,
It was the only time I ever saw Him run.
And then...

*
He caught me by surprise.
And He brought me to my knees.
When God ran...
I saw Him run to me.

I was so ashamed, all alone, and so far away.
But now I know, that He's been waiting for this day...

I saw Him run to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice
I felt his love for me again.
He ran to me,
He took me in His arms,
Held my head to his chest,
Said "My son's come home again!"
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son"He called me Son.
He said "Son, do you know I still love You?"
He ran to me (When God Ran)
(I saw Him run to me)
And then I ran to Him
(When God ran)
When God ran

(12:26 AMY)